Lord Vesper, Master
of Craghold Keep, has with great fanfare announced the birth of a son and
heir to his throne. A naming ceremony
will be held in the chapel of Craghold on the 23rd of this
month. With great solemnity Lord Vesper
has proclaimed that any wishing to bring gifts are welcome to do so, with gifts
of gold, ivory or precious stones being especially welcome. Any who wish to pledge fealty to Lord Vesper
during this blessed time are invited to do so, and will be received
graciously. Lord Vesper is quoted as
saying, “My need for vassals – especially those with strong arms and a
willingness to club someone’s brains out – is always highest immediately after
a child is born. So many wags and
gossips claiming my children were sired by devils, so few stout oak branches to
crack across their heads!”
Long-time residents of the Five-Towns will recall the series
of fires that mysteriously struck the houses of those who made such claims when
Lord Vesper’s daughter Julia was born, as well as Lord Vesper’s repeat attempts
to enforce his claim to the Five-Towns over that of Baron Vitellius, and the
subsequent repeated rebukes the Master of Craghold suffered.
The ground shook
throughout the Ironspine Mountains for three minutes earlier this week.
Residents of the Five-Towns are divided as to whether this earthquake was a
sign of divine wrath (and if so, which deity requires placating), caused by
giant-kind, or an otherwise little-understood natural phenomenon. Some fear that an earthquake such as this may
have disastrous effect on the ruins of the Groaning Keep near Holger.
Fearful that such tremors could result in increased goblinoid activity, Baron Vitellius has announced a new bounty on goblinoids: one silver piece for a goblin, five for a hobgoblin or orc, one gold for a bugbear, five gold for an ogre, ten for a troll or ettin, and fifty for a hill giant. Proof of extermination in the form of severed right hands to be presented at the Baron's castle for payment.
The Archbishop of the
Church of the Unconquered Sun in Sabaton has announced the dates for the
annual Festival of Brilliance as being from Moonsday, the 1st of
Sunmont, through Godsday the 6th of the same month. These are, of course, the same dates that the
Festival of Brilliance has fallen on for the past century, but it was determined
that it couldn’t hurt to provide residents with a reminder. Sunites are encouraged to make sure their
brass skull-caps are freshly polished and to make travel arrangements
early. Unbelievers are discouraged from
partaking in any of the traditional lemon pies until an act of penitence for
their disbelief is demonstrated to the local clergy.
Vencel Voros,
Imperial War-Wizard (retired), now a resident of Jonquil, has announced with great satisfaction his
victory over the demon Prixior Vune in a long-running game of chess. Having been defeated, the demon Vune must now
fulfill the task of compiling and editing the War-Wizard’s diaries, covering
more than forty years’ worth of skirmishes and campaigns against the fire-magi
of the Crimson Caliphate, into a cohesive and readable two-volume memoir. “He just left his king wide open during this
morning’s session,” Voros has stated, “It’s like he wanted to lose.”
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