"Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy?"

 A little something I threw into my last order from Crooked Dice - "Bold Planner B," clearly intended as the villainous Hans Gruber (played by the late, great Alan Rickman) from 1988's DIE HARD. 

A former member of the Volksfrei terrorist organization, Gruber organized a heist to steal $640 million in bearer bonds from Nakatomi Tower during the annual Christmas party. Unfortunately, NY cop John McClane (Bruce Willis) was present in an attempt to repair his relationship with his wife, and was able to foil Gruber's plans.

I clipped the figure off his tab and glued him to a resin "industrial" base I'd grabbed off Etsy to represent the roof of Nakatomi Tower. 

Because it's set during a Christmas party, there's a lot of chatter on the internet about DIE HARD being a Christmas movie. I'm not that wild a fan of the film - it's fine, but not anything I feel an urgent need to rewatch every year. My wife does consider it part of her Christmas traditions though, so I painted this up as a pre-Christmas gift for her. 

Perilous Tales: Wolves in the Streets

 I'd left my set-up from last night's game in place on the table, and was able to have a second game of Perilous Tales tonight. I removed the ponds and added a bit more scatter; I kept my crew of heroes largely unchanged as well. After selecting the Wolf Man as tonight's villain, I used the recommended method of selecting my objectives, by drawing cards.

The results that came up were "Set the Explosives," "Call for Help," and "Destroy the Idol." A narrative began to suggest itself...

The Las Lobos used to be just another street gang. Then they stole the Cursed Idol of Ish-Kabibble, and things got...hairier. The Las Lobos were soon living up to their name, possessed by wolf spirits and terrorizing anyone who approached the blocks they claimed as their territory. A group of concerned citizens have taken it on themselves to deal with the Las Lobos once and for all - destroying the Idol, dynamiting their hideout and calling the police to clean up the mess. 

Our heroes began to advance across the board cautiously, with Maria moving ahead to trigger the nearest threat marker - a wolf darting out in front of the bingo hall and lunging at her. 

Maria disengaged and stepped back, shooting at the wolf before Jean-Baptiste finished it off. Moving forward, Larry triggered the next threat marker - another wolf, quickly dispatched.

Maria continued towards the pay phone to begin calling for help, while Billy Ray hefted his wrench with an eye towards smashing the Cursed Idol. Unfortunately, Maria triggered three threat markers at once - all three of which were Perils instead of Villains. I drew three cards to see what they would be; "Unsteady Underfoot" (revealer has to make a skill check or be knocked prone), "A Thousand Cuts" (revealer takes a skill 3 attack), and "Creeping Horror" (skill checks at disadvantage). All three of these are persistent Perils, creating a zone surrounding the payphone AND the Cursed Idol where anyone entering has to check against being knocked prone and has disadvantage on that check, AND potentially takes damage. 

Let's call that a ruptured sewer line to cover all three Perils. 

Larry and Cliff both failed Horror checks and started to retreat towards the starting board edge, while Maria advanced towards the pay phone and Billy Ray approached the Idol. Jean-Baptiste approached the taco truck to plant explosives but failed to do so before another wolf lunged at him. 

Meanwhile, Cliff quickly ran afoul of a Young Werewolf, quickly getting bitten:

Billy Ray took a swing at the Cursed Idol, but in so doing drew the attention of the Master Werewolf.

The Master Werewolf swung ineffectively at Billy Ray; meanwhile Maria and Larry managed to plant batches of explosives. 

Cliff, stumbling back from the Young Werewolf, managed to shoot it enough times to kill it. 

Larry ducked around the fight against the Master Werewolf to try and plant the final set of explosives, but failed to do so before time ran out. 

So let's tally up points! One point for all of my team members surviving, another for my leader surviving, another for the "Thrown Together" template. Two points for the two bundles of explosives planted. And another three points for team members alive after the successful Call for Help. That's 8 points! That qualifies as "A Tale Fit for the Telling," and I'm pretty happy with that. 

I might manage another game on Saturday, but we'll see how things go. 

Perilous Tales: Storm Warning

 With my wife Gina's encouragement, I got the table set up tonight for another game of Perilous Tales from Planetsmasher Games. With the release of the rulebook at long last, a return to this solo game was long overdue. Somehow I'd gone more than a year without playing Perilous Tales, with the last game being cartel soldiers vs. gargoyles in July 2023. 

I set up an urban table with a battlemat from Mats by Mars and a mix of 3D-printed and precolored MDF buildings. Selecting my villain, I got inspired and added a few ponds from Monster Fight Club to represent flooding in the streets. A few vehicles and some scatter rounded things out, and my heroes would be the five armed civilians I posted yesterday. Perilous Tales now offers team templates you can apply to a group of heroes, and I chose "Thrown Together" -- the leader can no longer use the "Pep Talk" or "Call Over" actions, since the rest of the crew doesn't have a history of trust with them, but the group gets +1 victory point when the game is over and results tallied. 

I chose objectives, instead of generating them randomly, and gave myself "Call For Help," "Obtain Evidence," and "Escape." So my heroes needed to reach the pay phone and call for help, take a photo of the Villain, and then escape off the villainous board edge. 

And who is that villain? The Swamp Fiend, here portrayed by a Reaper Bones Gator-Man. He'd previously appeared in another game of Perilous Tales. Tonight, he was less a Swamp Fiend and more a Sewer Fiend. 

With the streets of Anyville, USA flooding and a torrential storm rolling in, Jean-Baptiste and a handful of fellow citizens cautiously began to investigate strange shadowy shapes lurking and mysterious bellowing noises. 

Unfortunately, Cliff the mail carrier triggered a profoundly noxious belch of trapped gas from the sewer (peril, "Putrid Stench") that hung over the bingo hall. As he staggered back from the smell, he drew the attention of two shadowy figures...

An alligator and, worse, a hulking alligator-humanoid hybrid, lunged. Cliff was dead before he hit the ground. Jean-Baptiste shot the alligator twice, killing the brute, while Larry took a shot at the Sewer Fiend. Billy Ray, the mechanic, charged towards the Sewer Fiend with his wrench, and Maria tried to skirt along the front of bingo hall to reach the pay phone to call for help. 

Another alligator spawned and attacked Maria; she managed to slip out of combat and try to make it to the pay phone despite being injured. Meanwhile, Jean-Baptiste tried to take a photo of the Sewer Fiend but fumbled it, and Billy Ray tried his best against the Sewer Fiend in hand to hand combat. 

With Maria in trouble, Larry tried to make it to the pay phone as well; more alligators spawned, and Maria was quickly eaten while Larry (possibly protected by the stench of BO and despair radiating off his stained undershirt) managed to make it to the pay phone.

Meanwhile, Jean-Baptiste managed to snap a photo of the Sewer Fiend and tried to sneak past it to safety.

"Yeah, hi, I'd like ta report some big bitch gator-man in downtown Anyville..." Larry's phone call was interrupted by a humanoid figure in white coveralls and a respirator emerging from the shadows.

"The experiment must not be interrupted," the figured intoned in a muffled voice. 

"This just ain't my day," Larry thought to himself as the alligators convened on him.

(I needed to spawn two additional minions when Larry called for help, but all my painted crocs were already on the table, so I improvised. What experiment is he talking about?)

A second coverall-clad figure appeared in the doughnut shop and began silently observing Jean-Baptiste. Jean-Baptiste gave him the slip and managed to take only a glancing hit from the charging Sewer Fiend. Escaping from combat, Jean-Baptiste took off running for safety. But will it be enough?

So let's add up those victory points, shall we? Jean-Baptiste successfully took a photo of the Sewer Fiend and was alive at the end of the game, so that's 3. He escaped off the villainous board edge, so that's another 1. We called for help and not everyone was dead at the end of the game, so that's another 1. And my leader was alive at the end of the game, that's another 1. And +1 VP for the "Thrown Together" team trait. So that's a score of 7, which is "Adequate!"

I always enjoy Perilous Tales, and I'm so glad to see Mike Hutchinson return to it and put out a finished version. I like the addition of team templates, and I like that Perils are now officially randomly determined instead of tied to specific battlefields. I miss some of the Villains that didn't make it into the final book, but I can recognize the utility of restricting it to 10; maybe there will be a supplement at some point to bring back villains like the Blob, Triffids, the Witch and the Robot Master. 

The idea to have the streets be flooded - even if it was largely just a cosmetic thing - came from my favorite horror movie of the last decade, 2019's CRAWL. A fairly "simple" but well-done killer animals film, it's the story of a woman and her father trapped in a rapidly-flooding house during a hurricane, menaced by voracious alligators in their efforts to reach safety. Once I knew I wanted a city streets battlefield and I'd be facing alligators, I immediately thought of CRAWL and nearly derailed my plans to play tonight in favor of giving it a rewatch. 

Gina has suggested I keep the table set up and play another game tomorrow - and yes, I agree, I did marry very well! I've left the scenery in place, though whether I get a game in tomorrow night or not remains to be seen. It might have to wait until Friday. 

Either way, this was an evening really well spent, I'm happy to be playing Perilous Tales again and I'm very happy with the finished rules. I highly, highly recommend taking this game for a spin. 

Armed Civilians

 I think I want to get back to posting on this here blog versus social media. First, it's better for my mental health to be spending less time on those other sites, and two, I think it'll help me with accountability in terms of painting versus buying. 

To that end, here's a mix of armed civilians I dug out of my various project boxes and threw some primer on last week. Painting concluded last night - with the basing dry I just have to dust the edges clean. 

"Maria," from Hasslefree Miniatures. A very animated-yet-relaxed pose!

"Jean-Baptiste," from Hasslefree Miniatures. 

"Billy Ray" from Hasslefree Miniatures.

An unnamed goon from Brigade Games' "Drug War Z" range. Loved doing the sweat stains!

Another "Drug War Z" figure.

This last figure's jacket reminded me of Cliff Clavin from the show Cheers, and so he's been painted as a United States Postal carrier. My dad was a mail carrier for almost 30 years, and so when I showed him these pictures, his only comment was "I know what he's going through."

So what's next on the table?

Well, it is almost Christmas...

I'm personally not that keen on watching "Die Hard" as a Christmas movie, but I love Alan Rickman and this figure from Crooked Dice is an incredible likeness. He's been clipped off his tab and glued to a resin "industrial" base to represent the roof of the Nakatomi Tower. 

Figuring Out 2025 Plans

 So first thing's first - I haven't done any gaming lately. Haven't gotten my army to the game store for Warhammer: The Old World. Kind of...not really feeling it? I've just been really tired lately; both physically because insomnia's been on me like stink on a monkey, and mentally drained by holidays, adjusting to homeownership, and caring for my spouse, who's been having mobility issues lately. It's hard to justify trips to the hobby store right now as well - my beloved cat Atticus is going to need a couple hundred dollars' worth of  of testing done at the vet's office in the new year, as the old gent is likely experiencing arthritis pain in his hips, has a heart murmur, and needs bloodwork done to get his new vet to sign off on renewing his thyroid prescription. So I am looking at putting away money towards those bills in advance.

I have been painting a fair amount of scatter terrain, and working on some modern figures:

Pallet of cash by Miniature Building Authority

Junk Pile w/ Engine and Dead Donkey by MBA, mattress by Crooked Dice

Sweaty lowlife by Brigade Games

Which brings me to looking ahead to 2025. I know, I know, I've had two posts about this before, outlining plans for prehistoric and samurai wargaming as focuses for the year upcoming. But I think I need to be realistic and take a few things into account. 

I've got a bit less in the way of disposable income right now regardless, because we've got property taxes, school taxes, things I didn't have as a renter. And it's a hundred year old house; it does take some upkeep. 

So starting new periods, and building accompanying terrain collections, seems ill-advised. I have a respectable collection of modern buildings, roads, fences etc., and expanding my scatter for modern games, and a number of the games I enjoy playing fit that time period perfectly - Fistful of Lead, Majestic 13, and Perilous Tales - which is newly out in finished PDF! 

I'm laying out three goals for myself for 2025:

• Remain focused on one setting - modern-era urban environment, reflecting the Rust Belt surroundings I've spent my entire life in. 
• Play two games a month, solo or otherwise. Especially in the winter months it's going to be solo games. Having friends over and hosting games of Fistful of Lead or co-op games of Majestic 13 when possible. 
• Paint more than I buy. Moving this year really showed me just how big my leadpile has gotten, and I'd like to work that down if possible. Maybe I should make this a goal of needing to paint one figure for every new figure I want to buy and add to my collection. Either way, I intend to track both figures painted and figures purchased in 2025. 

I don't know how I'm going to count terrain painted towards my painted count for the year, if at all. 

A corollary goal to #2: I've had this idea in my head for a while now of putting on a big participation game for Halloween. Jaye, the author and publisher of Fistful of Lead, does a big annual zombie-hunting game for Halloween where 4-6 players have try to fulfill objectives while zombies spawn randomly at a half dozen points on the table. I'd love to do something similar, set up a big urban table and have a few friends over for pizza and a game where street gangs and the police fight among themselves while also trying to fend off waves of zombies. It would mean an investment in zombie figures (doable), but I think it'd be a really fun time. 

So I think, with three weeks left in 2024, I have an actionable plan for responsible hobbying in 2025. No plan ever survives contact with the enemy, but let's see how long I can make this last. 

Warhammer: The Old World - Finally happening for me?!?

 So as readers of the blog will know, I've been slowly building an all metal Orc & Goblin army that I could use in any edition of Warhammer Fantasy Battles, The Old World, Kings of War, Oathmark, Dragon Rampant, etc. These days that project is more "art project" than anticipated "wargaming army," in large part due to the sheer weight of 200+ metal orcs, and also very much a "hey, 14 year old me - you did it. You built a Warhammer army, and it's awesome."

Well, asking around on Facebook, I found out there's a game store local to me that seems to prioritize wargaming and Warhammer, and there's a bunch of people there who are playing Warhammer: The Old World. 

I'd initially intended to drop by tonight and talk to a few of them, maybe watch a game in progress, but I got 4 hours of sleep last night and spent two hours today getting my internet turned back on, so by the time game-time rolled around I just didn't have the energy to get back in the car and drive 20 minutes each way, plus socializing. 

What I did do today, though, is go through the "Ravening Hordes" book of army lists and build myself a little 1000-point army; I'm hoping I can convince someone at the store to play a smaller game like this while I learn the rules more thoroughly, so that I don't have to try and schlep 2000 points of metal figures to the store and home. 

The whole army in one shot.

Characters - Orc Warboss on Boar Chariot, and Level 2 Orc Weirdboy

Da Red Bastids - 25x Orc Mob, hand weapons, shields and light armor, full command

Harboth's Black Mountain Boys - 20x Orc Mob, hand weapons, warbows, shields and light armor, full command

Cubsnatchers - 5x Goblin Wolf Riders, short bows and hand weapons

Da Red Stikkas - 20x Goblin Mob, hand weapons and short bows

Da Bilgesquatters - 3x River Troll Mob, great weapons

This will hopefully prove a fairly balanced force to start learning the game with, and one I can easily expand for larger games. 

I'll be paying the store a visit tomorrow (I need to restock a few things in my toolkit), and fingers are very much crossed that I'll make my triumphant return to in-person wargaming with a return to where my wargaming journey began - a Greenskins army for Warhammer. 

GI Joe: Operation Long Road Home

 It has been a long while since I've played anything - June I played some Sons of Mars, and prior to that it was March for Majestic 13. However, I was talking with a buddy of mine here in town and he's A) very interested in my GI Joe wargaming efforts, and B) volunteered his time and 3D printer to help set me up with some vehicles. With that, I decided I should make the effort to clear off our dining room table (which is more a catch-all space than anywhere we actually eat) and get set up for a GI Joe game. 

Fortunately, the table is exactly 3 feet wide, meaning my battle mat covered the entire width of the table with no gap. I already had a mission in mind that I'd plotted a while back, so I got my table set up and printed my rosters.

Representing the GI Joes:

• Sgt. Slaughter (Leader; traits: Leader, Master of Melee, Veteran, Tough as Nails), armed with a drill sergeant's baton and pistol.
• Beachhead (Specialist; traits: Indomitable, Infiltrator) armed with a SMG.
• Gung-Ho (Regular; trait: Nerves of Steel) armed with a grenade launcher and pistol.
• Spirit (Regular; trait: Eagle-Eyed), armed with an automatic rifle.
• Clutch (Regular; trait: Dodge), armed with a pistol.

And the Cobra roster:

• The Baroness (Specialist; traits: Smart, Dodge), armed with a pistol.
• Xamot (Regular; trait: Observant), armed with a pistol
• Fred Broca (Regular; trait: Determined), armed with an automatic rifle.
• 4 Crimson Guardsmen (Regulars; trait: Loyal), armed with automatic rifles.

And the mission: 

Sgt. Slaughter and his handpicked team of Joes have successfully captured Tomax, one of the "Crimson Twins" and a major financier of the terrorist organization known as COBRA. Unfortunately, they ran him to ground in the heart of Springfield, USA - an entire city operating as a Cobra base. Racing to leave the city and reach the extraction point, their vehicle was disabled, forcing them to continue on foot with Tomax in tow. 

The deadly Baroness and Tomax's twin brother Xamot have arranged a lethal surprise for the Joes on the edge of Springfield's suburbs in the form of a squad of Crimson Guardsmen.

The Joes start at one end of the road that crosses the table from corner to corner, and have to reach the other end while Cobra forces fire on them from both sides, without losing control of Tomax - currently being dragged by Clutch. 

Beachhead enters the doughnut shop, quickly scaling to the roof and taking a shot at the Crimson Guard lining up a sniper's shot, but misses. The Guardsman fires off a shot from the hip, injuring Beachhead, before charging the wounded Joe with his bayonet. Meanwhile, another Guardsman unleashes a burst of gunfire towards the Joes on the ground - Slaughter and Gung-Ho are unscathed (though Slaughter's ducked for cover), but Spirit is put out of action. 

In response, Slaughter hurls himself bodily on to the roof of the doughnut shop, landing feet first in the Guardsman's ribs, putting the Cobra operative out of action, while Gung-Ho fires a grenade up into the second Guardsman's sniper nest, wounding him. 

Their courage bolstered by the early removal of Spirit and Beachhead's injuries, Fred, the other Crimson Guards, and Xamot emerge from cover, and Gung-Ho is injured by a shot from Fred. 

"Not on my watch, rat-breath!" Slaughter bellowed, hurling himself off the roof and on to Fred, sending him out of action before getting shot in turn by Xamot. Struggling to his feet, Beachhead squeezed off a shot at Xamot, causing both Xamot and Tomax to collapse to the ground, their twin-based psychic powers resulting in both of them taking a wound. Gung-Ho shook off the wound he'd taken, rising to his feet and sending a grenade into the midst of a pair of Guardsmen, injuring one of them. 

Small arms fire only serving to make Sgt Slaughter angrier, he rose to his feet and, seeing Xamot down and the Baroness in reach, went after the femme fatale.

"What are you doing, you idiot? The Geneva Convention-" she started but was cut off.

"Listen here, Missy, when it comes to you poison puking Cobra maggots, they ain't even Geneva Suggestions!" Slaughter roared before sending her flying with one bone-shattering punch.

Gung-Ho, Beachhead and Clutch exchanged fire with the Crimson Guardsmen; rising shakily to his feet, Xamot tried shooting Slaughter again and missed, before turning and firing on Clutch in a desperate attempt to free his brother. "Not on your life!" Slaughter bellowed, shooting Xamot down and putting him out of action. 

The remaining Crimson Guardsmen were quickly mopped up; Slaughter threw the unconscious Baroness and Xamot over his shoulders as well, ready to deliver all of them to the Joes' maximum security prison to await trial. 

***

That was something else. I was prepared for Sgt Slaughter to be a beast in melee - his "Veteran" trait means he rolls D12s instead of D10s for all rolls, and "Master of Melee" means in melee he rolls twice and takes the better result - but he took down five of the seven Cobra operatives on the board, almost totally by himself, often with a single punch. Beachhead, Clutch and Spirit could have stayed home.

There also wasn't a lot of movement across the board; I don't think any of the Joes actually reached the halfway point until after the last of the Cobra forces were taken down. Part of this I think came down to deploying Cobra on both sides of the road as a shooting gallery; if I were to rerun this scenario I'd start Cobra in one of the non-road corners to give the Joes a chance to move and seek cover as they go while forcing the Cobras to have to decide between movement and shooting instead of largely sitting in cover and waiting for the Joes to enter range. 

Overall, I'm happy with the mission, and I may offer to run it for some friends and let them play both sides while I referee. I should also get my Cobra Alley-Vipers painted and maybe substitute them in for the Crimson Guards.