Majestic 13: Operation Hunger Strike

 "Alright, boys and girls, we got a live one," the Lieutenant barked into the burner phone. "Aglandian Horror, the boys upstairs call it. Ugly sumbitches, I call 'em. These ones are biological eating machines. Given one-tenth of a chance, they'll grab you, shred you like barbeque pork, and choke you down faster'n a fat kid at a pie eating contest. The good news is they're not that smart and they're no good at dodging lead. Steer clear of its mouths - mouths, plural - and watch where you step, because we've got a pair of signal beacons to make contact with in the vicinity. Gear up and meet me at the following coordinates ASAP..."

My usual Monday night paint and chat didn't happen last night, but Gina got the dining room table cleared off during a work call today and suggested I get a solo game in. I already had my next Majestic 13 mission rolled up and ready to set up on the table, so it was a no-brainer to get that rolling. I've also decided I want to try something a bit different with my write-ups and get more narrative with them. And so, without further ado...

Begin Transmission: Operation Hunger Strike

The Lieutenant cursed as he watched the roof of the doughnut shop cave in as the creature passed over it. He liked that doughnut shop. 

Will I end up buying the STL of a ruined version of this doughnut shop? Only time will tell.

Raising a finger to his lips for silence, he waved his team into position. The Aglandian Horror was now coiling across the roof of the video store, a slug-like mass pulling itself along with two powerful arms, the eyeless head waving back and forth slowly as it quested for prey. Taking up position on the roof of the shoe store nearby, the Lieutenant unslung his rifle and squeezed off a quick burst at the monster before darting to the edge and leaping off, the soles of his boots connecting hard with the pavement for only a moment before he took off running towards the first beacon.

The creature squealed as bullets ripped into it and launched itself from its perch - not at the Lieutenant, but diving for cover, squelching to rest under a parked food truck. Becky darted past, intent on reaching the second beacon, pausing just long enough to squeeze off a round at the monster as she passed. The shot connected with the creature's wattled gullet, a gout of ichor spraying from the wound. 

"Got you," Sarah-Jane said as she lined up the sights on her hunting rifle. The former veterinarian gently squeezed the trigger, a shot rang out, and through the scope she saw fangs splinter and bounce off the pavement. 

Flailing and hissing, the creature couldn't react before Maria and Hank moved in and lined up their shots.

"Smile, ugly," Hank grunted, bracing himself against the recoil as he sprayed the Horror with hot lead from his LMG. Round after round struck the creature center mass, steaming fluids spraying wildly with each impact. With a pained howl, the creature hurled itself at Hank, tendrils entwining his arms and pinning him against the cracked pavement.

The Lieutenant dove for the signal beacon. Punching in a code, he roared, "We need support NOW! Napalm that sunovabitch!"

On the to-do list: proper signal beacons.

At the same time, Becky scaled the wall of the TeeVeeShak, entering the code into the second signal beacon, completing their secondary mission. 

Hank was shielded from the worst of the drone strike by the creature's own bulk, chemical fire raining down from the heavens like God's wrath on this intruder from another world. But it didn't release its grip. 

Becky, her hands shaking, tried to put another round into the monster's back, but fearful of hitting Hank, her shot went wide. Irritated but not injured by the sudden crackle of gunfire, the Horror screeched, its mouth splitting wide as it plunged hundreds of needle-fangs into Hank's body. His fireman's coat offered little protection from the monster's greedy, desperate gnawing. His vision growing dark from bloodloss, the last thing Hank felt was his body being lifted off the ground like a ragdoll; then, darkness and wet warmth engulfed him head-first as the Horror swallowed what was left of him whole. 

The monster's tattered flesh began to knit back together, spent bullets spanging off the pavement as the rapidly-healing body ejected them. 

"Hey, puto, you still hungry?" Maria called out, pistol held at arm's length towards the monster. She squeezed the trigger, the shot going wide. She barely had time to curse before the Horror was charging her. The creature grabbed her, slamming her against the ground, growling and drooling over her. Visions of being digested danced in Maria's head.

"Drop her!" the Lieutenant barked, and his M-16 chattered, punching holes in the monster's throat. Taking advantage of the distraction, Maria planted a stiletto heel in the creature's chest and squirmed out of its embrace, darting for cover. Seeking cover, the creature darted in the other direction, circling around the put the smoke shop between itself and its attackers. Greenish ichor spilled from a dozen wounds, and the Horror howled and vomited more of its life's blood as it arched its back, quills shaking.

"Stay back but stay close!" the Lieutenant called. "It's entering Extremis. We got a chance to put it down for good here, but it's gonna be really pissed until we do."

Sarah-Jane chambered another round and, steely-eyed, buried it deep in the alien invader's flesh. The Lieutenant tried to do the same, but his rifle jammed.

"Always the worst time," he muttered as the creature suddenly loomed large in front of him, steam rising from its ragged wounds. The Lieutenant dodged one grasping paw, and slid out of the grip of the other, stumbling back from the monster. 

"I got it," Maria said, and raised her gun. To her horror, she heard the empty click. "I don't got it," she whispered as the creature's head whipped in her direction. 

Vomiting more blood, the Horror lurched towards her, its arms fumbling to find purchase on the ground in front of it. Maria shrank back against the wall of the Off-Track Betting, shaking in terror as the creature lunged...

And bashed what was left of its head into the brick wall four feet to Maria's right. The creature crumpled to the ground, tail lashing for another moment before going still in death. 

Limping slightly, the Lieutenant approached her. "Gotta love it when these fuckers kill themselves for us," he growled. "The Extremis protocol that FORCE programs into their little pets is nasty, but they don't make it home alive once it activates either. C'mon, kid, let's get out of here and get cleaned up. I think we all earned a few beers today."

End Transmission

Wow, what a game! I rolled so many critical hits for the Last Liners - one each for the Lieutenant, Hank, Becky and Sarah-Jane. I never have dice luck like that. Only Maria didn't get one, rolling a critical failure at the very end of the game instead. 

I did make one big mistake that I realized after finishing the game - I ran the Aglandian Horror using the "Ravager" flow-chart to govern its behavior, which gives monsters an extra activation when someone shoots at it and misses. The Aglandian Horror is a "Monstrosity" and should have been run using the Monstrosity flow-chart - which gives monsters an extra activation when someone scores a critical hit against them. 

So this game should have gone very differently, but I'm not going to discount it; I imagine the sinister aliens of FORCE have a big 3D meat-printer that they stitch monsters together on (the way the Kaiju are made in the movie PACIFIC RIM) and in this instance someone spliced in the wrong programming routine while printing the Horror. 

Going in, I was real nervous about the Aglandian Horror's ability to grab agents (up to two at a time), chew them up and heal itself by eating them. I had a vision of the game going extremely south and only one or two of my operative managing to limp home at the end of the mission. I'm really grateful it only got one of my operatives, with both Maria and the Lieutenant managing to avoid being grabbed and eaten. 

I'm also very pleased that this mission's FUBAR event happened at the very beginning of Turn 1, and that the resulting collapse of the doughnut shop didn't impact any of the Last Liners. 

Moving on to the post-game process...

The Lieutenant, Becky, Sarah-Jane and Maria all earned enough XP to improve one of their stats. All four of them improved their Acuity stat, which governs initiative order in combat and their ability to spot Hidden foes. 

The team's rating is now 3, which means their next mission is a special mission against the soldiers of FORCE instead of against a single giant monster. 

I managed to succeed on all my Bureaucracy rolls - requisitioning body armor for the Lieutenant, a Tripod for Hank's LMG, and an Internet Communications Monitoring Station for the Last Liners' base, which will help negate FUBAR rolls in future games. 

Speaking of Hank...

Hank died in the Aglandian Horror's digestive system, with not enough of him left after the body was retrieved to try resuscitating. Unwilling to let go of a good soldier, the doctors of Majestic 13 went to work and a newly-decanted clone, Hank II, will be joining the Last Liners for their next mission. Due to a quirk in the cloning process, Hank II is faster, stronger, smarter and more durable than the original, gaining a +2 to all of his attributes. I think, if the Lieutenant happens to die and cloning efforts fail, Hank II will be well placed to become replacement team leader. 

All in all, I'd call this an evening well spent. Can the Last Liners keep up their victorious streak?

UN Peacekeepers

 We're a few short weeks out from the 16th annual Analogue Hobbies Painting Challenge; I haven't taken part in a number of years, but I'll be returning to the Challenge this time around. I've got a plan (more or less) and figures primed and set aside for the Challenge. Which makes it a little challenging for me with my regular Monday painting group until then! I've been casting about and working on things that have been half-done to clear space on the workbench.

Inclement weather and unplowed roads kept me from going out to play Dracula's America today, and I had no other pressing responsibilities on my plate, so I parked my butt at my workbench for a couple hours and finished up some modern British troops (mostly Paras, but some regular infantry as well) from The Assault Group, painted up as UN Peacekeepers for modern conflicts. There should be 12 of them, but somewhere along the line I misplaced the radio operator from the Paras command blister so there's only 11 here.

Looking at my notes, the uniforms are a base of Reaper "Uniform Brown," drybrushed with "Green Ochre" and "Faded Khaki," with camouflage applied with blots of "Leaf Green" and "Blackened Brown." Webbing and pouches are the same "Uniform Brown/Green Ochre/Faded Khaki" while skin tones are Reaper "Tanned Shadow," washed with GW "Reikland Fleshshade" and highlighted with "Tanned Skin." Usually I skip the wash when doing skin tones but I really feel like it added a lot here. I may have to reincorporate it into my usual process. Helmets and Berets are Reaper "Sapphire Blue" highlighted with "True Blue."

While I had the blues out, I finally put a shirt on this zombie apocalypse survivor from Hasslefree Miniatures. I think he's the "starting out" version, less impressively armed, of the figure I've been using as Hank in my recent Majestic 13 games. 

I should go back in and redo the grip on his machete. But, this is another 12 figures done for the year, which I'm well pleased with.

Figures Acquired in 2025: 246

Figures Painted in 2025: 187

The Next Majestic 13 Monster

 The latest campaign of Majestic 13 I've been playing has been going well, so I rolled up what the next mission would be, including the monster I'd be facing. The dice came up with a creature called the "Aglandian Horror," a creature described as "covered in claws, mouths and strange appendages it uses for vision." These monsters restrain their victims and eat them, healing damage by means of consumption. Nothing I had already painted felt like it fit the bill, but I had this figure primed and awaiting its turn. The gullet-y looking neck and Stranger Things-esque maw felt like a good match to me!

This is a 3D print I bought from TableTopTradesman on Etsy, who has it listed as an "Eldrich Demon." It was a really great print, very clean, only a few small supports left to trim away around the tentacles, and I have several more monsters I bought from this shop waiting their turn as well. 

With my Majestic 13 monsters, I try to stick to one primary color and then add a contrasting color that pops - in this case, the drab brownish green of the main body broken up by the lighter green on the ends of the arms and the bright blue neck and mouth. The tentacles didn't end up as vibrantly green as I'd initially hoped, but I'm happy enough with them to stop fussing with them. 

I got it printed at 75mm tall, and it fit comfortably on a 60mm Renedra base. There's a product I've seen used by people painting Tyranids that creates strings of glossy slime webbed between limbs or jaws, and there's part of me that wants to get a bottle and use it to goop this figure up with (especially around the neck and mouth) but I also want it to be solid and sturdy enough to play with. The slime feels like it's probably meant for display pieces only. 

All in all, I'm pretty happy with this! Now to see how many of my Majestic 13 team members it eats...

Figures Acquired in 2025: 246

Figures Painted in 2025: 175

Off-Track Betting - Finally Furnished!

Back in August, I finished the building itself for an Off-Track Betting location for my modern urban tables, but I was waiting on some 3D printed furnishings for it from a friend with a printer. Once I got those from him...they kind of sat for a while. I did get them all primed, but they sat in a box on my workbench awaiting my attention. 

I had a four day weekend for Thanksgiving, but I spent most of it running errands, socializing, and overall spending my time on everyone and everything but myself, so by Sunday morning I was feeling a bit frazzled, and certainly not as relaxed and rested as I would want to be on a four-day weekend! So Sunday morning I got the crockpot loaded and rolling for a couple days' worth of dinners and parked my butt at my workbench for probably five hours, my phone turned off entirely, and sat and painted some odds and ends that I wanted to get clear - including the furniture for the OTB. 

I'm really enjoying furnishing my terrain builds - it adds a lot of personality and flavor to each building, and it's a fun challenge to include enough furniture to sell the idea of what the building is supposed to be without making it too cluttered to move figures around in. And this is no criticism towards people who leave their interiors entirely open and unadorned to maximize play space! I think there's a lot of wisdom in that approach as well.

Bobby Dipshit, in his sweat-stained tank top and track pants, is waiting on race results.

The bar, drinks shelves and TV racks were STLs I bought on MyMiniFactory and had a friend print up for me. I kept the paintjobs pretty simple, and didn't even bother to paint the side of the drinks shelf that's touching the wall. 

The slot machines (three out of five in a set) are 3D prints that I bought from Kirk at Miniature Building Authority, where I've bought a lot of my furniture for these builds from. They came with a set of stools as well that I opted not to use. The prints are super crisp and detailed; I've gotten a few 3D printed bits from MBA that still have a lingering whiff of uncured resin clinging to them, but these were perfect, and you can see just how much detail is crammed into them; the text on the buttons is legible in the print even if my potato-fingers can't manipulate a brush finely enough to do the individual letters in "MAX BET."

These were also a significant reminder that I'm overdue for an eye exam and updated prescription on my eyeglasses. 

Finally, unrelated to the Off-Track Betting, I painted a pile of sleeping bags and bedrolls piled around a cooler that I got in a Mantic TerrainCrate set. It's glued to a 40mm Renedra base and will work great as an objective marker in modern games.

 Honestly, I wish I had another one of these, but I'm not sure I can justify buying a whole additional summer camp box for it. Though more of the various tents and unrolled sleeping bags wouldn't hurt...

New Recruits for Dracula's America

 So after my last game of Dracula's America, I was down a man and had a significant chunk of cash on hand, which meant it was time to do some recruiting! I figured out what I wanted to spend my dollars on in terms of recruits and gear for them and got to work.

Left to right, we have Strikes Like a Snake (a Novice), Runs Ahead (A Hired Gun - he's a little bit better and has some special abilities but I have to pay an upkeep fee to keep him in my posse), and Zeke and Josiah Freeman, a pair of Buffalo Soldiers who have "gone native" and signed on with my posse out of a shared hatred for the resurgent Confederacy in the game's alternate-history 1875. 

Strikes and Runs Ahead are from North Star, and came included with my initial Posse purchase; the Freeman Brothers are from Artizan Designs.

I'm scheduled to play a game tomorrow, but I may need to take a rain check - the weather's supposed to be pretty miserable with another winter storm rolling in off the Lakes, and I re-wrenched my knee yesterday, just as it was feeling better. I'm not a fan of this at all. 

Figures Acquired in 2025: 246

Figures Painted in 2025: 174

Majestic 13: Operation Acidwash

It's American Thanksgiving today, and I'm off work though not spending the day with family. Gina's been overworking herself at her job and has been experiencing some side effects to a new medication, so I prioritized us having some real down-time for a change. I do like taking the day to play a solo game; in 2023, Thanksgiving Day was when I played my very first game of Majestic 13, so it feels appropriate to do another M13 game today.

The Last Liners, led by the enigmatic "Lieutenant," are back for their second mission, this time on a densely-packed urban table; I rolled very high for the number of buildings that would be on the table, and groaned internally a little when I rolled "Terrain Reporting" as my secondary mission - I had to put my team in contact with every building and cluster of trees on the table! 

The pieces of terrain marked with a blood splatter (the Shoe Store, the OTB, the Container Office) are Dangerous Terrain (dealing 1D6 damage on a 5+ roll of a D6), while those marked with footprint markers (Both clusters of trees, the pizza parlor, the ramen restaurant) are Difficult Terrain (speed reduced by 1/2 while moving through). 

The threat this mission is an Ichor Spitter - a flying monstrosity that sprays blinding acid. It deals retributive acid damage to anyone within 6" of it when it takes damage, and gains an additional activation once per turn when someone shoots at it and misses, allowing it to shoot back. 

It's the galaxy's angriest prolapse!

Fortunately, the Last Liners are "Dispersed," meaning I can deploy them anywhere on the table, which I used to score "touches" on five pieces of terrain right off the bat. The Lieutenant and Sarah-Jane had high enough Dexterity attributes to negate Dangerous Terrain; she started out deployed on the shoe store, while the Lieutenant began the game taking a shot (successfully) at the Ichor Spitter before running across the roof and jumping down on to the Container Office.

The Ichor-Spitter, floating like a sickening balloon, drifted across the table, coming to rest in the midst of a car accident; Maria, Becky and Sarah-Jane were all successfully able to shoot at it and move towards other terrain pieces, but Hank missed and got blasted with acid in response, blinding him temporarily.

Unfortunately, turn 2 opened with me failing my FUBAR roll, resulting in Civilians appearing on the table, compromising OPSEC. While the game doesn't mandate having figures on the table for this, I find that putting the TV News Crew I painted earlier this year is a nice reminder.

On Turn 3, Maria successfully called down a Drone Strike on the Ichor Spitter, which continued to move from cover point to cover point around the board, with the agents continuing to "touch" buildings and fire at the alien horror. 

Fortunately, the agents mostly rolled well despite the penalties for their target being in cover, and the Ichor Spitter rolled phenomenally low for a lot of its attacks, missing with multiple Acid Spit attacks. Everyone took some damage, and at one point the Ichor Spitter rolled a critical hit against the Lieutenant, dealing 27 points of damage and leaving him with just three hit points; thankfully, Sarah-Jane was close by with her med-kit and was able to patch him up.

On Turn 4, the Ichor Spitter landed on the Off-Track Betting, the poorly-maintained roof partially collapsing under the creature's weight, impaling it on a piece of loose rebar (Rolled a 5+ to see if it took damage from Dangerous Terrain, and took 6 damage). This was enough to overwhelm the wounded monster's biology, sending it into its "Extremis" state, giving it an extra activation per turn but it would take damage every time it activated.

Hank climbed on to the roof of the Off-Track Betting, avoiding the broken roof, and opened fire on the monster. The Spitter's acidic reaction sizzled on his fireman's coat, but didn't injure him. Hoisting herself on to the roof of the pizza parlor, Becky took a pot shot at the creature with her pistol, injuring it further. 

At death's door, the Ichor Spitter activated, taking Extremis damage and collapsing, its air sacs deflating as its internal acid stores melted the dying creature's body.

The Last Liners have once again defeated the monster in Turn 4 (out of a maximum possible of 5)! They also managed to fulfill their secondary mission, with figures touching every piece of terrain on the table, and nobody was put "Out of Action" - though the Lieutenant and Maria were both close calls. 

Going into the post-game process, everyone earned enough XP to improve an attribute by one point; the Lieutenant boosted his Fortitude, Hank his Dexterity, Becky and Sarah-Jane their Fortitude, and Maria her Dexterity. 

Unfortunately, I failed all three of my Requisition rolls - my efforts to get a Weapon Stabilization Tripod for Hank, a set of body armor for the Lieutenant and to add an Internet Monitoring Station (second request!) all disappeared into the bureaucratic labyrinth. So no new goodies, but that's the life of the Dispersed...

The Lieutenant and his crew are doing well, but he'll be the first to caution them against getting cocky. FORCE is watching, and it won't be long before they deploy another monster...

State of the Orc Army, November 2025

 So looking back...I haven't gotten my entire Oldhammer orc and goblin army out on the table since May 2024. I have added a couple of units and big figures to the army since then, and some discussion around Warhammer: The Old World and One Page Rules Regiments with the guys I've been playing Dracula's America with got me inspired to carry everything up from the basement, array it out on the dining room table, and take stock of where I'm at.

This is my midlife crisis, by the way. No sports cars, or giant tattoos, or peroxide-blonde mistresses half my age. No, my midlife crisis is building an all-metal Warhammer army that weighs 30 lbs. The mistress might be less expensive...

First up, the goblins - 39 (plus shaman) with hand weapons, and 20 (plus shaman) with bows, two small units of 5 wolf riders with bows, and a wolf chariot, plus a character riding a wolf. I need to dig out and paint some shields for the hand weapons unit. I've got figures here from Warmonger, Knightmare, Black Tree Design, Midlam Miniatures and Games Workshop; I have another unit of wolf riders from Satyr Art Studios, as well as a couple of frankensteined chariots (including one being ridden by a shaman) in my project box still.

Next up, "Da Red Bastids" - 25 Orcs with hand weapons and shields from Warmonger Miniatures. Behind them are four Bog Trolls sculpted by Drew Williams of Satyr Art Studios years ago; I bought them from him before he sold the molds to the now-defunct Troll Soup Miniatures. I have another four Bog Trolls (purchased from Troll Soup) in my project box.

I better look at the trolls. I would run these as River Trolls in Warhammer, I think. The little runt is from Warmonger Miniatures, and the Empire casualty is a Landsknecht casualty from Warlord Games.

Up next are the Old Guard - this unit is made up almost entirely of eBay rescues, and are all sculpts initially released between 1985 and 1996. Figures here are from Games Workshop, Marauder Miniatures, Alternative Armies and Heartbreaker Miniatures.

Behind them are some artillery pieces - an eBay rescue "Doom Diver" from Games Workshop (I have another, new in box, that a friend found in their attic 20+ years after buying it), and an "Orcquebus" from Warmonger Miniatures that I proxy as a Rock Lobber. 

Up next are the "Kingbreakers" - another unit of Warmonger Orcs. I had two figures on a 25x50 base in the back row that the spaced out movement tray didn't allow me to use, so I've subbed in two orcs I painted for a baggage train. 

Behind them you can see my giant, from Old School Miniatures - I've named him Simon, after the friend who gifted him to me. The runt on the base came with the Doom Diver. 

"The Blackfire Boyz" are "Mercenary Orcs" from Warmonger Miniatures and in some of my favorite orcs that Kev Adams ever sculpted; they're encrusted with detail that brings them to life without bogging down the painting. I've painted them in the colors of Averland, the Imperial Province bordering on the Black Fire Pass and frequent defenders against orc raids in the lore of Warhammer Fantasy. The idea being, they've begun imitating the tactics of their imperial foes, and dressing in uniforms stripped off the dead. This was my first big paper banner (and first time drilling a hand for a 100mm steel flagpole) and I'm still really pleased with how it turned out.

Behind them are kind of an odd unit. These 10 "Barnorsk Great Orcs" I got from Black Tree Design in 2018, and were what initially sparked my desire to build an all-metal orc and goblin army. The paintwork is not up to my current standards and I was never happy with the old Citadel shields I put on them, so I'm not sure I'd put them on the gaming table these days; I have quite a few more (obtained with no small degree of frustration given the issues one has these days trying to buy figures from BTD!) primed and awaiting painting, so the thought is always in the back of my mind to retire these fellows and honor them as the progenitors of the entire project. 

I'm really proud of my Boar Boyz. These are from Knightmare Miniatures, and I did a fair amount of converting on these with weapon swaps, creating a standard bearer, and a musician who has a lute on his back. I'm proud of how many pig jokes I worked in - "Sum Pig," "Pork Chop," "Hog Wild," etc., and the banner is a flying pig. I think the supersized banner didn't work out quite as well this time.

"Harboth's Orc Archers," from 1987. I feel a special affinity to these guys - they first released right around the time I was born. I managed to score a phenomenally good deal on a full box set, plus some extra figures, back in 2020, and doing a full unit of 20 with freehanded face shields and a paper banner felt so satisfying. I think I can honestly say this is my favorite unit in the whole army. They're on a split movement tray so I can readily deploy them in two ranks of 10, or four ranks of 5. 

And then the characters:

I'm still really pleased with the Shaman on Wyvern figure I painted earlier this year. Still have to paint some banners for him though. 

So what's next? I have a half-finished unit of orc boyz with a shaman accompanying them, and two more units primed and waiting their turn, plus a couple chariots primed and awaiting painting/final assembly. Then there's a unit of night goblins that could be primed, more goblin archers, more trolls...I have a lot in the back log. 

I think I got demoralized for a while with this project between not having a nice display cabinet for them and realizing I just wasn't enjoying Warhammer: The Old World. The guys I played with during the summer were nice enough, but having to stop every turn and consult three rulebooks plus an errata document wasn't my idea of a good time and the other guys at the game store were quickly leaning into tournament mindsets, and that's just not me. 

Talking about One Page Rules with the guys I play Dracula's America with felt reinvigorating; I've always treated this project as some blend of actual gameable army and art project, a means of saying "Hey, 14 year old me, we finally have a really cool Warhammer army! We did it!" and I think right now I feel like gaming with them again for the first time in months. And maybe that means I'll finish painting another regiment, maybe some more chariots. Maybe I'll finally get my second orc on wyvern out and assembled in 2026.