State of the Orc Army, November 2025

 So looking back...I haven't gotten my entire Oldhammer orc and goblin army out on the table since May 2024. I have added a couple of units and big figures to the army since then, and some discussion around Warhammer: The Old World and One Page Rules Regiments with the guys I've been playing Dracula's America with got me inspired to carry everything up from the basement, array it out on the dining room table, and take stock of where I'm at.

This is my midlife crisis, by the way. No sports cars, or giant tattoos, or peroxide-blonde mistresses half my age. No, my midlife crisis is building an all-metal Warhammer army that weighs 30 lbs. The mistress might be less expensive...

First up, the goblins - 39 (plus shaman) with hand weapons, and 20 (plus shaman) with bows, two small units of 5 wolf riders with bows, and a wolf chariot, plus a character riding a wolf. I need to dig out and paint some shields for the hand weapons unit. I've got figures here from Warmonger, Knightmare, Black Tree Design, Midlam Miniatures and Games Workshop; I have another unit of wolf riders from Satyr Art Studios, as well as a couple of frankensteined chariots (including one being ridden by a shaman) in my project box still.

Next up, "Da Red Bastids" - 25 Orcs with hand weapons and shields from Warmonger Miniatures. Behind them are four Bog Trolls sculpted by Drew Williams of Satyr Art Studios years ago; I bought them from him before he sold the molds to the now-defunct Troll Soup Miniatures. I have another four Bog Trolls (purchased from Troll Soup) in my project box.

I better look at the trolls. I would run these as River Trolls in Warhammer, I think. The little runt is from Warmonger Miniatures, and the Empire casualty is a Landsknecht casualty from Warlord Games.

Up next are the Old Guard - this unit is made up almost entirely of eBay rescues, and are all sculpts initially released between 1985 and 1996. Figures here are from Games Workshop, Marauder Miniatures, Alternative Armies and Heartbreaker Miniatures.

Behind them are some artillery pieces - an eBay rescue "Doom Diver" from Games Workshop (I have another, new in box, that a friend found in their attic 20+ years after buying it), and an "Orcquebus" from Warmonger Miniatures that I proxy as a Rock Lobber. 

Up next are the "Kingbreakers" - another unit of Warmonger Orcs. I had two figures on a 25x50 base in the back row that the spaced out movement tray didn't allow me to use, so I've subbed in two orcs I painted for a baggage train. 

Behind them you can see my giant, from Old School Miniatures - I've named him Simon, after the friend who gifted him to me. The runt on the base came with the Doom Diver. 

"The Blackfire Boyz" are "Mercenary Orcs" from Warmonger Miniatures and in some of my favorite orcs that Kev Adams ever sculpted; they're encrusted with detail that brings them to life without bogging down the painting. I've painted them in the colors of Averland, the Imperial Province bordering on the Black Fire Pass and frequent defenders against orc raids in the lore of Warhammer Fantasy. The idea being, they've begun imitating the tactics of their imperial foes, and dressing in uniforms stripped off the dead. This was my first big paper banner (and first time drilling a hand for a 100mm steel flagpole) and I'm still really pleased with how it turned out.

Behind them are kind of an odd unit. These 10 "Barnorsk Great Orcs" I got from Black Tree Design in 2018, and were what initially sparked my desire to build an all-metal orc and goblin army. The paintwork is not up to my current standards and I was never happy with the old Citadel shields I put on them, so I'm not sure I'd put them on the gaming table these days; I have quite a few more (obtained with no small degree of frustration given the issues one has these days trying to buy figures from BTD!) primed and awaiting painting, so the thought is always in the back of my mind to retire these fellows and honor them as the progenitors of the entire project. 

I'm really proud of my Boar Boyz. These are from Knightmare Miniatures, and I did a fair amount of converting on these with weapon swaps, creating a standard bearer, and a musician who has a lute on his back. I'm proud of how many pig jokes I worked in - "Sum Pig," "Pork Chop," "Hog Wild," etc., and the banner is a flying pig. I think the supersized banner didn't work out quite as well this time.

"Harboth's Orc Archers," from 1987. I feel a special affinity to these guys - they first released right around the time I was born. I managed to score a phenomenally good deal on a full box set, plus some extra figures, back in 2020, and doing a full unit of 20 with freehanded face shields and a paper banner felt so satisfying. I think I can honestly say this is my favorite unit in the whole army. They're on a split movement tray so I can readily deploy them in two ranks of 10, or four ranks of 5. 

And then the characters:

I'm still really pleased with the Shaman on Wyvern figure I painted earlier this year. Still have to paint some banners for him though. 

So what's next? I have a half-finished unit of orc boyz with a shaman accompanying them, and two more units primed and waiting their turn, plus a couple chariots primed and awaiting painting/final assembly. Then there's a unit of night goblins that could be primed, more goblin archers, more trolls...I have a lot in the back log. 

I think I got demoralized for a while with this project between not having a nice display cabinet for them and realizing I just wasn't enjoying Warhammer: The Old World. The guys I played with during the summer were nice enough, but having to stop every turn and consult three rulebooks plus an errata document wasn't my idea of a good time and the other guys at the game store were quickly leaning into tournament mindsets, and that's just not me. 

Talking about One Page Rules with the guys I play Dracula's America with felt reinvigorating; I've always treated this project as some blend of actual gameable army and art project, a means of saying "Hey, 14 year old me, we finally have a really cool Warhammer army! We did it!" and I think right now I feel like gaming with them again for the first time in months. And maybe that means I'll finish painting another regiment, maybe some more chariots. Maybe I'll finally get my second orc on wyvern out and assembled in 2026. 

Returning to The Old World

 I got invited to a group chat organizing regular games of Warhammer: The Old World at my local game store. The people in the group seem nice and are painting their miniatures - and playing at a points value where I'm not going to destroy my back lugging my all-metal orcs and goblins to the store. 

So I sat down and sorted out a 1000-pt army that should be relatively well balanced. I asked for a little bit of help on Reddit, given my past experiences with being left to my own devices to build army lists. If all goes according to plan I'll be playing games on both Wednesday and Thursday this week - and with my wife's blessing and encouragement, no less! 

Da Pig Hussas - 5 Orc Boar Boyz (Big'uns), with full command, cavalry spears and shields. Standard bearer has the enchanted Banner of Butchery and the leader is wearing a 'Eadbuttin' 'At.

Dem Wots Got Stickas - 20 Night Goblins (pretend they have hooded cloaks) with shortbows, hiding two manic Fanatics in their ranks. Next to them is Wee Whistle, a Level 3 Night Goblin shaman.

Da Red Bastids - 25 Orc Boyz with hand weapons and shields and a full command.

Harboth's Orc Archers - 15 Orc Boyz with warbows, shields and full command. Behind them is a Doom Diver catapult with an Orc Bully to improve morale.

Big Boss Yorzolg - Orc Big Boss, army general, great weapon, Trollhide Trousers and a Charmed Shield on a Boar Chariot.

How they're shown here is more or less my plan for deployment as well, though if I can put the Doom Diver Catapult on a hill I will do so. Hopefully the Pig Hussas and Yorzolg can hit some enemy units in the flanks and cause some extra damage that way while the orcs soak up some charges and the Night Goblins...well, they're mainly there to launch the ultra-destructive and uncontrollable fanatics into the center of the table. 

Happy Easter and Some Gaming

 Happy Easter to all my readers who celebrate. We're having a very low-key Sunday here, nothing too fancy on the menu or any visiting planned. Except...

On Friday, I found out that my local game store, Harlequin Hobby, is open for gaming today and there were people looking to play Warhammer: The Old World. I happen to have an army for Warhammer: The Old World. With no other plans, I cleared an afternoon spent at the game store with my wife, and asked if anybody would be open to a 500-point game to help me learn the ropes. Having confirmed that someone would be happy to do so, I drew up plans for a 500-point army that would be easy to transport.

I threw my back out earlier this week and am still on the mend, and it's situations like this that might maybe make me curse my deep love of metal miniatures. 

So here's what I'm taking to the store today:

Orc General on Boar. Figure by Knightmare.

Goblin Wolf Riders with Bows. Figures by Foundry/Warmonger

Orc Spearmen in looted Empire uniforms. Figures by Foundry/Warmonger

Trolls originally from Satyr Art Studios, currently OOP. Goblin handler by Knightmare.

I'll be back later with a play report or two!

Figures Purchased in 2025: 58

Figures Painted in 2025: 70

Warhammer: The Old World - Finally happening for me?!?

 So as readers of the blog will know, I've been slowly building an all metal Orc & Goblin army that I could use in any edition of Warhammer Fantasy Battles, The Old World, Kings of War, Oathmark, Dragon Rampant, etc. These days that project is more "art project" than anticipated "wargaming army," in large part due to the sheer weight of 200+ metal orcs, and also very much a "hey, 14 year old me - you did it. You built a Warhammer army, and it's awesome."

Well, asking around on Facebook, I found out there's a game store local to me that seems to prioritize wargaming and Warhammer, and there's a bunch of people there who are playing Warhammer: The Old World. 

I'd initially intended to drop by tonight and talk to a few of them, maybe watch a game in progress, but I got 4 hours of sleep last night and spent two hours today getting my internet turned back on, so by the time game-time rolled around I just didn't have the energy to get back in the car and drive 20 minutes each way, plus socializing. 

What I did do today, though, is go through the "Ravening Hordes" book of army lists and build myself a little 1000-point army; I'm hoping I can convince someone at the store to play a smaller game like this while I learn the rules more thoroughly, so that I don't have to try and schlep 2000 points of metal figures to the store and home. 

The whole army in one shot.

Characters - Orc Warboss on Boar Chariot, and Level 2 Orc Weirdboy

Da Red Bastids - 25x Orc Mob, hand weapons, shields and light armor, full command

Harboth's Black Mountain Boys - 20x Orc Mob, hand weapons, warbows, shields and light armor, full command

Cubsnatchers - 5x Goblin Wolf Riders, short bows and hand weapons

Da Red Stikkas - 20x Goblin Mob, hand weapons and short bows

Da Bilgesquatters - 3x River Troll Mob, great weapons

This will hopefully prove a fairly balanced force to start learning the game with, and one I can easily expand for larger games. 

I'll be paying the store a visit tomorrow (I need to restock a few things in my toolkit), and fingers are very much crossed that I'll make my triumphant return to in-person wargaming with a return to where my wargaming journey began - a Greenskins army for Warhammer. 

State of the Orc Army, May 2024

 Been a while since I've posted! Haven't done a ton of gaming since March; we're actually moving at the end of the summer, from our current one bedroom apartment into an actual house! In fact, the house I grew up in; my parents are looking to downsize as they get older, so my wife and I are buying their house from them. A lot of my wargaming terrain has already been moved into the basement at the house, just because it's delicate and I didn't want to risk anything breaking if I could help it. My painted miniatures will all be moved over in the coming weeks as well.

In the meantime, I did get my entire Oldhammer orc and goblin army out on the table this past weekend for the six-month muster. 

First things first, here's the entire* army:

So this technically isn't everything that's painted; my 3rd edition Hobgoblin contingent wasn't unpacked for this, and my Doom Diver catapult needs some repairs so it was left off the table this time around. Let's take a closer look:

Some miscellaneous characters; since the last muster I've added Grimgor Ironhide, Black Orc Warboss from Games Workshop, 6th edition WHFB on the left there, and a Heartbreaker Orc Shaman (now available through Ral Partha Europe) on the far right. 

Goblins! I've added a unit of Wolfriders from Warmonger miniatures (foreground) and a wolf chariot (in the back) from GW, as well as a shaman from Old School Miniatures (red hood). Someday soon I should bulk out that regiment of 12 up to...around 40. Maybe 48. 

These are really special. I painted the first 12 of Harboth's Orc Archers from 1987 back in 2021, and finished the remaining 8 (including standard bearer, musician and champion) in January of this year. They all have hand-painted face shields and I freehanded the banner as well. Behind them you can see one of my two 25-strong Orc regiments.

"The Old Guard" is 35-strong, consisting of orcs released between 1985 and 1996; a mix of Citadel, Marauder, Heartbreaker, Alternative Armies, maybe some I'm forgetting.

My Boar Boyz, from Knightmare Miniatures; have done a couple weapon swaps on these, including making the standard bearer.

Up front are my Black Orcs; these are "Barnorsk Great Orcs" from Black Tree Design, and the first figures I painted for this army. I have another 10 to add to them, and I'll be redoing shields. Also probably redoing the standard bearer, replacing the cast standard pole with a 4" steel pin and a new paper flag. Behind them is my second 25-man orc unit.

Trolls are from Satyr Art Studio originally; the molds were sold to Troll Soup Miniatures but I don't know if they're still in production; they're marked sold out every time I check the site. Next to them is a Warmonger Orc carrying a siege gun, which I'll be using as a Rock Lobber.

I have no idea if they'll ever make it on the table for a game, but I do still love the "Black Fire Boyz" - a group of orcs that have started wearing Imperial uniforms stripped from fallen foes and imitating pike tactics. 

And finally the baggage train; again, not something that'll ever see use past 3rd edition games (should those ever happen for me), but a characterful and fun addition. 

So that's it for now, minus the units I mentioned above. 

What's next?

I did recently score a complete set of the 2002 version of Ruglud's Armored Orcs, sculpted by Brian Nelson during the 6th edition era. These were kind of a "White Whale" for me - the issue of White Dwarf they were introduced in was one of the first issues I had as a teenager entering the hobby, and every greenskins army list I wrote up back then included them as a choice. Those are on my painting table right now. 

I have a bunch of chariots, more goblins, more black orcs, a unit of Night Goblins to do...

Really the biggest thing I should do is magnetize all these bases. I have 3D printed movement trays to adapt these base sizes to Warhammer: The Old World and I really should get magnets and steel squares so I can take these to a game without spending an hour ranking everyone up at the table.

Orc Siege Gun

 I'll be taking part in the Old World Army Challenge again in 2024, with an amusing little WHFB 3rd edition Empire Army with Halfling Allies. In prepping for January 1st, I've been very much in an Oldhammer frame of mind, and have been keeping myself busy with some of the orcs in my collection; even if I'm taking a break for the duration of the OWAC, I'm thinking the Oldhammer Orc project is going to be a constant for me, because there will always be something to add to it, and it gives me so much joy. 

The latest figure to be completed is this bunch from Warmonger Miniatures - Here we have mercenary orc "Curroneth" with his Orcquebus siege gun and crew. Another Kev Adams sculpt (like the bulk of my army), I think the mercenary orcs he did for Warmonger are some of his best and most underrated sculpts; the landsknecht style clothing and the sheer volume of looted goods they're crusted with cry out for bright colors and reward the patient painter. 

The "orclings" forming the gun rest as well as the reloading crew all came with Curroneth, but I added another one, similarly dressed in puff-and-slash and admiring himself in a hand mirror; I painted his clothes to match Curroneth's, with quartered red-yellow and blue-white. 

I also drilled out the gun barrels; I'd gotten a little bit of flack on social media for not drilling out the horns some of my musicians were blowing, so I figured I'd get ahead of that. 

Other than the "Leadbelcher" cannon in the 3rd edition list, orcs have not had access to gunpowder weapons in Warhammer Fantasy Battles; I figure I'll use this as a proxy Rock Lobba catapult if I ever get a chance to play. 

***

Finally, I have something very cool to share. Last week, my wife Gina found out that I have hobby "white whales" - old figures that I'd love to get my hands on given a chance. She asked for a list of what some of these white whales were, and got to work. 

Top of the list was the 6th edition WHFB "Orc Warboss on Wyvern" - I fell in love with this kit the very first time I walked into a Games Workshop store in August 2001. They had a painted example on a turntable in the display case and I was absolutely entranced - the short neck and bulldog face on the wyvern was so cool to 14 year old me.

Alas, I had neither the money nor the attention span to focus long enough to build a 2000-pt 6th edition army; I bought a few boxed sets here and there - Night Goblins, Orcs, Skeletons, Chaos Warriors - but never managed to get far enough to be thinking about characters. So I never bought the Warboss on Wyvern. 

Earlier this week, it arrived:

It feels surreal to hold it in my hands. It had become a pipe dream, a mythical "if I see one for sale that's not in too-terrible a shape, that doesn't cost a kidney." I don't think I was expecting to ever actually get one. It might not get painted until spring, because my priming window is rapidly closing for the year, but I'm excited to finally get a chance to paint it.

State of the Orc Army - Memorial Day 2023

 Afternoon all, today is a federal holiday in the United States and so I had the day off work. Having gotten quite a bit of work done on my Oldhammer Orc project this month, I decided to unpack everything and get it on the table - see what I've done since the last review, and get a sense of what I want to add. Not to toot my own horn too hard here, but I'm honestly impressed to see what I've done so far:

All total, that's 115 Orcs, 47 Goblins, 15 Hobgoblins, 4 Trolls, 5 "Hobhounds," 5 Boars and 6 Wolves. A unit-by-unit breakdown (mostly) follows:

A unit of Goblin Wolf Riders with bows, joined by a Goblin Big Boss. A second unit of these is in my project box, waiting to be assembled and painted.

Harboth's Orc Archers, a classic regiment from 1987. I still need to do shields for them, and I have a large number of these in my closet that I could strip 30-year old enamel paints off and paint up if I so desired. Behind them is a Doom Diver catapult, ready to fling goblins across the battlefield. 

Da Red Bastids tribe, with a unit of Bog Trolls behind them. Da Bastids are done, I have four unpainted trolls in my project box awaiting painting.

The Black Fire Boyz, a unit of orcs that have begun wearing stolen Averland uniforms and imitating pike and shotte tactics. This unit is complete - I don't want to paint more puff and slash.

The first regiment painted back in 2019, these Black Orcs will be expanded out to 15 and given new shields. Behind them is Mighty Epigruel's Slop 'n' Go Chuck Wagon. I wish baggage trains had persisted in WHFB past 3rd edition. 

The Kingbreakers, my second block of 25 orcs. 

Some characters - a classic Orc Boar Boy, an Orc Commander from Knightmare Miniatures, an Orc Shaman and an early 2000s Games Workshop Savage Orc Shaman. Behind them are a block of Goblin Archers. The orc shaman's staff has a crack on the shaft, and I'm concerned it's going to snap off right above his hand. I've tried wicking some superglue into the crack to bond it, but if that proves to not be enough I'll replace it with a skull just above his hand - turning the staff into a shorter walking stick. 

A unit of Knightmare Miniatures' goblins up front, and behind them an Orc chariot converted from a Foundry Beastman chariot, and in the back "The Old Guard," my Orc Big'uns regiment (joined by the Battle Standard Bearer). I have enough goblins, from a couple manufacturers, rattling around in a box to where I could bulk this unit out to 40, maybe even almost 50 if I really wanted to, but it's not the highest priority.

The Old Guard are all sculpts first released between 1985 and 1996, mostly Citadel, but there are a few Heartbreaker figures in there as well. I've got 19 figures painted, and it will be bulked up to a 36-figure block. I've got more Citadel and Heartbreaker, as well as some Marauder and Alternative Armies figures in the project box waiting to be cleaned, based and painted; I think I still need to buy just 3 more figures to complete the unit. 

My Hobgoblin Mercenary Contingent, not fieldable in any edition of Warhammer Fantasy Battles more recent than 3rd. I've got a dozen Mourngul Renegades, along with a Shaman and a Contingent Commander riding a Temple Dog (represented by a Reaper Krung Beast). In front, a Hobgoblin Beastmaster drives a herd of Hobhounds (represented by Knightmare Gnashers) before him. 

A better look at the Baggage Train. Part of me wants to add a couple more wagons (a torturer's cart and maybe a mobile shrine to Gork and/or Mork), but again, not a very high priority. 

So what's left to add?

There's a couple additional units I want to add:

• 10 Orc Boar Riders. I collected these and made a few conversions (a standard bearer, musician, and a couple of weapon swaps), and they've been sitting primed and ready to go waiting for me to get a storage case to put them in afterwards. I've got the case now so these might be next on the table.
• Another unit of five Goblin Wolf Riders, plus a Boss. I have these in the project box, I just need to get a Boss figure.
• 15 Savage Orcs, to be fielded with the Savage Orc Shaman seen above attached. I've got 13 of the Mark Bedford-sculpted Savage Orcs from 2000, a few of which need some stripping, including a full command. Just need to collect two more. 
• A Rock Lobber - this will be proxied with a Foundry/Warmonger "Mercenary Great Orc" carrying a gigantic medieval firearm (the "Orquebus"), surrounded by a crew of goblins ready to clean and reload between shots. This is already in my project box, though I might still add a Warmonger "Orcling" holding a telescope as a spotter. 
• Mangler Squig. I don't know if I'll ever play 8th edition WHFB, which introduced this unit, but I have the Knightmare "Giant Gnasher" and I'm looking forward to making a diorama base for it. 
  

And a couple units that need expansion:

• Another 5 Black Orcs painted, plus shields. I've got two in my project box, I just need to pick up three more. Shields will be the kite-shaped face shields from Foundry/Warmonger. 
• At least two more Trolls painted.
• 17 more Orcs for the Old Guard. I think I've got 14 in my project box, so I'll need to source three more.
   

 This project has given me a lot of joy since I started it in 2019, and also a lot to think about. One thing I've noticed in social media spaces devoted to miniature painting and wargaming, as well as in the language used to market products to us, is an emphasis on "spend less time painting" and "get [y]our army on the table faster." Faster, faster, faster - always faster! Does 21st century life not move fast enough already?

I've absolutely and categorically rejected this messaging. Being thoughtful and methodical in every aspect of this project has been the key to my enjoyment. Browsing manufacturers' websites, supporting small businesses, and taking the time to base coat, wash, highlight every figure...I have an army that is entirely my own, painted in my own style. I've gotten faster at it through dint of practice, rather than using tools and techniques designed to speed up the process. 

Something I've seen a lot of among people playing the latest edition of Warhammer 40K or Age of Sigmar is buying an army, speed painting it, playing with it for a season, then selling it to pay for next year's army. And that's just not for me; in ten years' time I expect to still be admiring this army in a lit display case in my home. It's been an investment in my own happiness and honestly, my health (I had my annual physical last week, and I attribute my improved blood pressure to spending less time on social media and more time painting orcs), and I'm far richer for having taken the route I did with them.