Orc Big'uns and Shaman - Clearing Space Ahead of the AHPC

 So this is a regiment that I started a few months ago for my Oldhammer Orc army, but got bogged down on during the batch painting process. These are mid-90s Orc Big'uns sculpted by Brian Nelson, accompanied by a shaman, also by Brian Nelson. Games Workshop reissued these figures with the release of Warhammer: The Old World, and 11 of these figures - two ranks of regular grunts and the shaman - were purchased either online through Games Workshop or from my local game store. 

The other nine, however, including the command group, were a gift from Josh "Cauldronborn" Slater, who has produced some pretty awesome miniatures himself - I highlighted his most recent Kickstarter here. When I received my products from his last Kickstarter, I found a bag of orcs included in my box with a note that he thought they'd find a better home with me than in his leadpile. 

I've experienced a lot of kindness and generosity in the miniatures hobby space, and this is a perfect example. It's also why I try to pay that same kindness forward every chance I get.

I was one shield short of what I needed (this has been rectified thanks to eBay - should have it sometime between Christmas and New Year's Eve), and as you can see I haven't painted a standard for the standard-bearer. 

Unfortunately, I think the pad of heavyweight graph paper that I use for painting banners got stuck in a box that's currently in the storage area under my basement stairs. I've FUBAR'd my knee pretty good, and moving shelves and rooting through the storage area's out of the question at the moment. 

Tomorrow is the beginning of this year's Analogue Hobbies Painting Challenge, and that means a fresh start on painting; if I were to do additional work on this unit tomorrow, I wouldn't be able to count them towards the Painting Challenge, and it would be time spent not working towards my Challenge hobby goals - in this case, 400 points' worth of 28mm models. 

So while they still need a banner and a shield, I am counting them as Done for the purposes of my own tracker because I won't be working on them again in 2025.

Figures Acquired in 2025: 246

Figures Painted in 2025: 207

Majestic 13: Operation Hunger Strike

 "Alright, boys and girls, we got a live one," the Lieutenant barked into the burner phone. "Aglandian Horror, the boys upstairs call it. Ugly sumbitches, I call 'em. These ones are biological eating machines. Given one-tenth of a chance, they'll grab you, shred you like barbeque pork, and choke you down faster'n a fat kid at a pie eating contest. The good news is they're not that smart and they're no good at dodging lead. Steer clear of its mouths - mouths, plural - and watch where you step, because we've got a pair of signal beacons to make contact with in the vicinity. Gear up and meet me at the following coordinates ASAP..."

My usual Monday night paint and chat didn't happen last night, but Gina got the dining room table cleared off during a work call today and suggested I get a solo game in. I already had my next Majestic 13 mission rolled up and ready to set up on the table, so it was a no-brainer to get that rolling. I've also decided I want to try something a bit different with my write-ups and get more narrative with them. And so, without further ado...

Begin Transmission: Operation Hunger Strike

The Lieutenant cursed as he watched the roof of the doughnut shop cave in as the creature passed over it. He liked that doughnut shop. 

Will I end up buying the STL of a ruined version of this doughnut shop? Only time will tell.

Raising a finger to his lips for silence, he waved his team into position. The Aglandian Horror was now coiling across the roof of the video store, a slug-like mass pulling itself along with two powerful arms, the eyeless head waving back and forth slowly as it quested for prey. Taking up position on the roof of the shoe store nearby, the Lieutenant unslung his rifle and squeezed off a quick burst at the monster before darting to the edge and leaping off, the soles of his boots connecting hard with the pavement for only a moment before he took off running towards the first beacon.

The creature squealed as bullets ripped into it and launched itself from its perch - not at the Lieutenant, but diving for cover, squelching to rest under a parked food truck. Becky darted past, intent on reaching the second beacon, pausing just long enough to squeeze off a round at the monster as she passed. The shot connected with the creature's wattled gullet, a gout of ichor spraying from the wound. 

"Got you," Sarah-Jane said as she lined up the sights on her hunting rifle. The former veterinarian gently squeezed the trigger, a shot rang out, and through the scope she saw fangs splinter and bounce off the pavement. 

Flailing and hissing, the creature couldn't react before Maria and Hank moved in and lined up their shots.

"Smile, ugly," Hank grunted, bracing himself against the recoil as he sprayed the Horror with hot lead from his LMG. Round after round struck the creature center mass, steaming fluids spraying wildly with each impact. With a pained howl, the creature hurled itself at Hank, tendrils entwining his arms and pinning him against the cracked pavement.

The Lieutenant dove for the signal beacon. Punching in a code, he roared, "We need support NOW! Napalm that sunovabitch!"

On the to-do list: proper signal beacons.

At the same time, Becky scaled the wall of the TeeVeeShak, entering the code into the second signal beacon, completing their secondary mission. 

Hank was shielded from the worst of the drone strike by the creature's own bulk, chemical fire raining down from the heavens like God's wrath on this intruder from another world. But it didn't release its grip. 

Becky, her hands shaking, tried to put another round into the monster's back, but fearful of hitting Hank, her shot went wide. Irritated but not injured by the sudden crackle of gunfire, the Horror screeched, its mouth splitting wide as it plunged hundreds of needle-fangs into Hank's body. His fireman's coat offered little protection from the monster's greedy, desperate gnawing. His vision growing dark from bloodloss, the last thing Hank felt was his body being lifted off the ground like a ragdoll; then, darkness and wet warmth engulfed him head-first as the Horror swallowed what was left of him whole. 

The monster's tattered flesh began to knit back together, spent bullets spanging off the pavement as the rapidly-healing body ejected them. 

"Hey, puto, you still hungry?" Maria called out, pistol held at arm's length towards the monster. She squeezed the trigger, the shot going wide. She barely had time to curse before the Horror was charging her. The creature grabbed her, slamming her against the ground, growling and drooling over her. Visions of being digested danced in Maria's head.

"Drop her!" the Lieutenant barked, and his M-16 chattered, punching holes in the monster's throat. Taking advantage of the distraction, Maria planted a stiletto heel in the creature's chest and squirmed out of its embrace, darting for cover. Seeking cover, the creature darted in the other direction, circling around the put the smoke shop between itself and its attackers. Greenish ichor spilled from a dozen wounds, and the Horror howled and vomited more of its life's blood as it arched its back, quills shaking.

"Stay back but stay close!" the Lieutenant called. "It's entering Extremis. We got a chance to put it down for good here, but it's gonna be really pissed until we do."

Sarah-Jane chambered another round and, steely-eyed, buried it deep in the alien invader's flesh. The Lieutenant tried to do the same, but his rifle jammed.

"Always the worst time," he muttered as the creature suddenly loomed large in front of him, steam rising from its ragged wounds. The Lieutenant dodged one grasping paw, and slid out of the grip of the other, stumbling back from the monster. 

"I got it," Maria said, and raised her gun. To her horror, she heard the empty click. "I don't got it," she whispered as the creature's head whipped in her direction. 

Vomiting more blood, the Horror lurched towards her, its arms fumbling to find purchase on the ground in front of it. Maria shrank back against the wall of the Off-Track Betting, shaking in terror as the creature lunged...

And bashed what was left of its head into the brick wall four feet to Maria's right. The creature crumpled to the ground, tail lashing for another moment before going still in death. 

Limping slightly, the Lieutenant approached her. "Gotta love it when these fuckers kill themselves for us," he growled. "The Extremis protocol that FORCE programs into their little pets is nasty, but they don't make it home alive once it activates either. C'mon, kid, let's get out of here and get cleaned up. I think we all earned a few beers today."

End Transmission

Wow, what a game! I rolled so many critical hits for the Last Liners - one each for the Lieutenant, Hank, Becky and Sarah-Jane. I never have dice luck like that. Only Maria didn't get one, rolling a critical failure at the very end of the game instead. 

I did make one big mistake that I realized after finishing the game - I ran the Aglandian Horror using the "Ravager" flow-chart to govern its behavior, which gives monsters an extra activation when someone shoots at it and misses. The Aglandian Horror is a "Monstrosity" and should have been run using the Monstrosity flow-chart - which gives monsters an extra activation when someone scores a critical hit against them. 

So this game should have gone very differently, but I'm not going to discount it; I imagine the sinister aliens of FORCE have a big 3D meat-printer that they stitch monsters together on (the way the Kaiju are made in the movie PACIFIC RIM) and in this instance someone spliced in the wrong programming routine while printing the Horror. 

Going in, I was real nervous about the Aglandian Horror's ability to grab agents (up to two at a time), chew them up and heal itself by eating them. I had a vision of the game going extremely south and only one or two of my operative managing to limp home at the end of the mission. I'm really grateful it only got one of my operatives, with both Maria and the Lieutenant managing to avoid being grabbed and eaten. 

I'm also very pleased that this mission's FUBAR event happened at the very beginning of Turn 1, and that the resulting collapse of the doughnut shop didn't impact any of the Last Liners. 

Moving on to the post-game process...

The Lieutenant, Becky, Sarah-Jane and Maria all earned enough XP to improve one of their stats. All four of them improved their Acuity stat, which governs initiative order in combat and their ability to spot Hidden foes. 

The team's rating is now 3, which means their next mission is a special mission against the soldiers of FORCE instead of against a single giant monster. 

I managed to succeed on all my Bureaucracy rolls - requisitioning body armor for the Lieutenant, a Tripod for Hank's LMG, and an Internet Communications Monitoring Station for the Last Liners' base, which will help negate FUBAR rolls in future games. 

Speaking of Hank...

Hank died in the Aglandian Horror's digestive system, with not enough of him left after the body was retrieved to try resuscitating. Unwilling to let go of a good soldier, the doctors of Majestic 13 went to work and a newly-decanted clone, Hank II, will be joining the Last Liners for their next mission. Due to a quirk in the cloning process, Hank II is faster, stronger, smarter and more durable than the original, gaining a +2 to all of his attributes. I think, if the Lieutenant happens to die and cloning efforts fail, Hank II will be well placed to become replacement team leader. 

All in all, I'd call this an evening well spent. Can the Last Liners keep up their victorious streak?

UN Peacekeepers

 We're a few short weeks out from the 16th annual Analogue Hobbies Painting Challenge; I haven't taken part in a number of years, but I'll be returning to the Challenge this time around. I've got a plan (more or less) and figures primed and set aside for the Challenge. Which makes it a little challenging for me with my regular Monday painting group until then! I've been casting about and working on things that have been half-done to clear space on the workbench.

Inclement weather and unplowed roads kept me from going out to play Dracula's America today, and I had no other pressing responsibilities on my plate, so I parked my butt at my workbench for a couple hours and finished up some modern British troops (mostly Paras, but some regular infantry as well) from The Assault Group, painted up as UN Peacekeepers for modern conflicts. There should be 12 of them, but somewhere along the line I misplaced the radio operator from the Paras command blister so there's only 11 here.

Looking at my notes, the uniforms are a base of Reaper "Uniform Brown," drybrushed with "Green Ochre" and "Faded Khaki," with camouflage applied with blots of "Leaf Green" and "Blackened Brown." Webbing and pouches are the same "Uniform Brown/Green Ochre/Faded Khaki" while skin tones are Reaper "Tanned Shadow," washed with GW "Reikland Fleshshade" and highlighted with "Tanned Skin." Usually I skip the wash when doing skin tones but I really feel like it added a lot here. I may have to reincorporate it into my usual process. Helmets and Berets are Reaper "Sapphire Blue" highlighted with "True Blue."

While I had the blues out, I finally put a shirt on this zombie apocalypse survivor from Hasslefree Miniatures. I think he's the "starting out" version, less impressively armed, of the figure I've been using as Hank in my recent Majestic 13 games. 

I should go back in and redo the grip on his machete. But, this is another 12 figures done for the year, which I'm well pleased with.

Figures Acquired in 2025: 246

Figures Painted in 2025: 187

The Next Majestic 13 Monster

 The latest campaign of Majestic 13 I've been playing has been going well, so I rolled up what the next mission would be, including the monster I'd be facing. The dice came up with a creature called the "Aglandian Horror," a creature described as "covered in claws, mouths and strange appendages it uses for vision." These monsters restrain their victims and eat them, healing damage by means of consumption. Nothing I had already painted felt like it fit the bill, but I had this figure primed and awaiting its turn. The gullet-y looking neck and Stranger Things-esque maw felt like a good match to me!

This is a 3D print I bought from TableTopTradesman on Etsy, who has it listed as an "Eldrich Demon." It was a really great print, very clean, only a few small supports left to trim away around the tentacles, and I have several more monsters I bought from this shop waiting their turn as well. 

With my Majestic 13 monsters, I try to stick to one primary color and then add a contrasting color that pops - in this case, the drab brownish green of the main body broken up by the lighter green on the ends of the arms and the bright blue neck and mouth. The tentacles didn't end up as vibrantly green as I'd initially hoped, but I'm happy enough with them to stop fussing with them. 

I got it printed at 75mm tall, and it fit comfortably on a 60mm Renedra base. There's a product I've seen used by people painting Tyranids that creates strings of glossy slime webbed between limbs or jaws, and there's part of me that wants to get a bottle and use it to goop this figure up with (especially around the neck and mouth) but I also want it to be solid and sturdy enough to play with. The slime feels like it's probably meant for display pieces only. 

All in all, I'm pretty happy with this! Now to see how many of my Majestic 13 team members it eats...

Figures Acquired in 2025: 246

Figures Painted in 2025: 175

Off-Track Betting - Finally Furnished!

Back in August, I finished the building itself for an Off-Track Betting location for my modern urban tables, but I was waiting on some 3D printed furnishings for it from a friend with a printer. Once I got those from him...they kind of sat for a while. I did get them all primed, but they sat in a box on my workbench awaiting my attention. 

I had a four day weekend for Thanksgiving, but I spent most of it running errands, socializing, and overall spending my time on everyone and everything but myself, so by Sunday morning I was feeling a bit frazzled, and certainly not as relaxed and rested as I would want to be on a four-day weekend! So Sunday morning I got the crockpot loaded and rolling for a couple days' worth of dinners and parked my butt at my workbench for probably five hours, my phone turned off entirely, and sat and painted some odds and ends that I wanted to get clear - including the furniture for the OTB. 

I'm really enjoying furnishing my terrain builds - it adds a lot of personality and flavor to each building, and it's a fun challenge to include enough furniture to sell the idea of what the building is supposed to be without making it too cluttered to move figures around in. And this is no criticism towards people who leave their interiors entirely open and unadorned to maximize play space! I think there's a lot of wisdom in that approach as well.

Bobby Dipshit, in his sweat-stained tank top and track pants, is waiting on race results.

The bar, drinks shelves and TV racks were STLs I bought on MyMiniFactory and had a friend print up for me. I kept the paintjobs pretty simple, and didn't even bother to paint the side of the drinks shelf that's touching the wall. 

The slot machines (three out of five in a set) are 3D prints that I bought from Kirk at Miniature Building Authority, where I've bought a lot of my furniture for these builds from. They came with a set of stools as well that I opted not to use. The prints are super crisp and detailed; I've gotten a few 3D printed bits from MBA that still have a lingering whiff of uncured resin clinging to them, but these were perfect, and you can see just how much detail is crammed into them; the text on the buttons is legible in the print even if my potato-fingers can't manipulate a brush finely enough to do the individual letters in "MAX BET."

These were also a significant reminder that I'm overdue for an eye exam and updated prescription on my eyeglasses. 

Finally, unrelated to the Off-Track Betting, I painted a pile of sleeping bags and bedrolls piled around a cooler that I got in a Mantic TerrainCrate set. It's glued to a 40mm Renedra base and will work great as an objective marker in modern games.

 Honestly, I wish I had another one of these, but I'm not sure I can justify buying a whole additional summer camp box for it. Though more of the various tents and unrolled sleeping bags wouldn't hurt...